Cognitive Behavioral Therapy Worksheet Found in Wild, Appears to Have Been Completed by a Raccoon

A cognitive behavioral therapy worksheet titled 'Challenging Your Negative Automatic Thoughts' was recovered from a dumpster behind a Portland strip mall Tuesday, bearing responses that appear to have been made by a raccoon, based on paw print evidence and the document's proximity to overturned garbage. The worksheet, a standard CBT handout used to identify and reframe distorted thinking patterns, was partially chewed but legible. While the response sections contained no written text — raccoons lacking opposable thumbs and literacy — the document featured paw prints, scratch marks, and teeth impressions in patterns that clinical psychologist Dr. Renata Schema found 'structurally significant.' 'The worksheet asks patients to identify a negative thought, rate its intensity, identify the cognitive distortion, and generate a more balanced thought,' Dr. Schema explained. 'The raccoon appears to have bitten the negative thought section most aggressively, which could represent an instinctive challenge to catastrophic thinking. Or it could represent a raccoon eating paper. Clinically, I choose to be optimistic.' The worksheet's 'Evidence For and Against My Thought' section contained two distinct paw prints — one on each side — which Dr. Schema interprets as 'a rudimentary attempt to weigh competing perspectives, or possibly the raccoon standing on the paper while eating something else.' Animal behaviorist Dr. Marcus Nocturnal offered a more conservative analysis. 'Raccoons interact with human objects constantly. This raccoon was not doing CBT. It was in a dumpster. It found paper. It chewed the paper.' Dr. Schema has framed the worksheet and hung it in her office, where she says it serves as 'a reminder that the impulse to challenge negative thoughts may be more universal than we assume.' Several of her patients have reported finding it comforting. The raccoon could not be reached for comment.