Casket Showroom Now Offers 'Test Lies' So Customers Can Try Before They Die

Eternal Rest Casket Company has introduced a 'Try Before You Die' program at its flagship showroom in suburban Chicago, inviting customers to lie in display caskets for up to fifteen minutes in what the company describes as 'the mattress store experience, but for eternity.' 'People spend more time test-driving a car they'll own for five years than selecting the vessel they'll occupy forever,' said showroom manager Dolores Vault. 'We're correcting that imbalance.' The program, which launched last month, has proven unexpectedly popular. Customers are escorted to a softly lit showroom, offered a pillow, and invited to recline in any of the thirty-seven display models while soothing music plays and a 'comfort consultant' takes notes. 'The Serenity 3000 has lumbar support, which I know sounds ridiculous, but you'd be surprised how many people notice,' said consultant Trevor Lining. 'We had a gentleman last week who tried nine caskets in two hours. He said the brushed bronze was too cold, the mahogany was too warm, and the poplar was just right. He's basically Goldilocks, but for coffins.' Not all reactions have been positive. Several visitors reported the experience as 'unsettling,' 'way too comfortable,' and 'oddly peaceful in a way that made me question my life choices.' One customer, 78-year-old Harold Repose, spent the full fifteen minutes in a premium walnut model and had to be gently woken by staff. 'Best nap I've had in years,' Repose said. 'I'm buying two — one for now and one for later.' The program includes a money-back guarantee, which Vault described as 'technically enforceable but historically unnecessary.'