Deceased Man's Smart Watch Sends 'Great Workout!' Notification During Pallbearer Carry

A funeral service at Grace Lutheran Church in Minneapolis was briefly disrupted Saturday when the deceased's Apple Watch, which had not been removed prior to the viewing, emitted a series of cheerful notifications congratulating him on 'an outstanding cardio session' as pallbearers carried the casket down the center aisle. The notifications, which included 'Way to go! You've closed your Move ring!' and 'New personal best for walking pace!', were audible to the first three rows of mourners before a funeral attendant was able to silence the device. 'The motion of being carried apparently registered as vigorous walking,' explained Peaceful Passage funeral director Marcus Repose. 'The watch interpreted the pallbearers' movement as the deceased achieving approximately 847 steps in four minutes, which it considered exceptional.' The device also awarded three fitness badges: 'Fastest Mile,' 'Move Goal 200%,' and an achievement called 'Unstoppable' that required closing all three activity rings for seven consecutive days, a streak the deceased had apparently maintained even in death. 'Dad would have thought it was hilarious,' said the deceased's son, Keith. 'He was obsessed with those rings. He once walked around the living room at 11:45 PM to close his stand goal. The fact that he's still earning badges is exactly the kind of overachievement he was known for.' The family has opted to leave the watch on, reasoning that 'he earned those badges fair and square.' As of Monday, the device had also logged 'eight hours of restful sleep,' which it rated as 'excellent.' Peaceful Passage has updated its pre-service checklist to include 'Remove or silence all wearable fitness devices.'