Funeral Director Wins Customer Service Award, Reminds Everyone He Has a 100% Satisfaction Rate Among Clients

Mortimer Stiff, owner and operator of Stiff & Sons Funeral Home in Boise, Idaho, has been awarded the Greater Boise Chamber of Commerce's Customer Service Excellence Award after achieving what he describes as 'an unblemished record of client satisfaction spanning three decades.' 'In thirty-four years, not one client has ever complained,' Stiff said at the awards ceremony, pausing to let the audience absorb the statistic. 'Not one has asked for a do-over. Not one has said, I wish you'd done things differently. That kind of track record speaks for itself.' When a reporter noted that the nature of his clientele might contribute to the absence of complaints, Stiff dismissed the observation. 'Every industry has its advantages. Ours is a particularly quiet customer base. That doesn't diminish the quality of our work.' The award committee praised Stiff & Sons for its 'exceptional attention to detail, dignified presentation, and remarkably low complaint ratio,' adding that the funeral home's 4.9-star Google rating was 'unmatched in the Boise service sector.' Stiff's acceptance speech touched on the principles of his trade. 'People think this business is about death,' he said. 'It's not. It's about presentation. Lighting. Ambiance. Knowing when to use mahogany versus oak. My clients may not express gratitude verbally, but their families do, and that's close enough.' The one review that prevented a perfect 5.0 rating was left by a man who complained about the parking situation. Stiff has since added two spaces.