Headstone Engraver Reports Surge in Demand for Wi-Fi Passwords on Tombstones

Stone and Chisel Memorial Engraving of Burlington, Vermont, has reported a 400 percent increase in requests to include Wi-Fi network names and passwords on headstones, a trend owner Dale Kirchner attributes to 'a generation that defines legacy differently than their parents did.' The requests, which began as an isolated novelty in 2024, have become Kirchner's fastest-growing product category. At least twelve clients this quarter have asked for their home network credentials to be carved into granite beneath their names, dates, and epitaphs. 'The first one I thought was a joke,' Kirchner said. 'Guy comes in, says he wants his name, the dates, Beloved Father and Husband, and then underneath: Network: PEMBERTON_5G, Password: GoFishDad1957. I asked if he was serious. He said it was the most useful thing he'd ever given his family and he wanted it preserved.' The trend appears driven by a combination of practical concern and existential humor. Several clients cited the difficulty their families already have remembering the Wi-Fi password and wanted to ensure it would remain accessible 'in perpetuity, or at least until the router is replaced.' Cybersecurity experts have raised concerns. 'Engraving your network password on a public-facing piece of stone is, from an information security standpoint, suboptimal,' said Dr. Priya Chandrasekaran of MIT. 'Anyone visiting the cemetery can connect to your network. We strongly advise against this.' Kirchner noted that one client requested a QR code instead of a plaintext password, which he declined on the grounds that 'granite doesn't render QR codes well and also I have professional standards.' The most elaborate request to date came from a retired IT administrator who asked for a full network diagram, including subnet masks and DNS configurations, to be engraved on a double-wide plot. Kirchner quoted him $18,000. The client is considering it. 'People want to be remembered,' Kirchner said. 'Some people build hospitals. Some people provide Wi-Fi. Both are valid.'