Hearse Driver Accidentally Joins Funeral Procession for Wrong Person, Leads It for 47 Minutes
The error was discovered when the procession arrived at a cemetery 30 miles from the intended destination, and the hearse driver asked, 'So which one is Gerald?'

A mix-up at the intersection of Maple Avenue and Church Street in Hartford, Connecticut, resulted in a hearse from the wrong funeral home joining a procession for a man it was not transporting, leading thirty-seven vehicles on a 47-minute drive to an incorrect cemetery before anyone realized the error.
The incident occurred when hearse driver Leonard Procession of Evergreen Memorial Services pulled out of a gas station at the precise moment that a funeral procession from rival establishment Serenity Hills was passing. The police escort, assuming the hearse was the lead vehicle, waved Procession into the front of the line.
'I thought it seemed like a lot of cars,' Procession later told investigators. 'But in this business, you don't question a good turnout.'
The procession traveled 30 miles to Oakwood Cemetery, where Procession was scheduled to deliver a different client. Upon arrival, he reportedly opened his vehicle and asked a group of mourners, 'Which one of you is here for Gerald?' The deceased's name was Francis.
'It was genuinely confusing,' said Francis's widow, Martha. 'We'd been following this hearse for nearly an hour. When he said Gerald, I thought maybe Francis had a name I didn't know about. Forty-three years of marriage, you start to wonder.'
The correct hearse, meanwhile, had been waiting at St. Augustine's Church with Francis, increasingly concerned about the non-arrival of the procession. 'I radioed dispatch and they said the family was on their way,' said that driver. 'They were on their way. To the wrong cemetery. Behind the wrong hearse.'
Both funeral homes have since implemented a color-coded flag system. Francis was laid to rest two hours behind schedule but, his family noted, 'he was always late to everything, so it felt appropriate.'
AI-generated satirical fiction. Not real news.
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