Dive Shop Employee Has Not Been Dry Since 2019

Dive instructor and shop employee Miguel Cardenas, 34, of Key Largo, Florida, has calculated that he has been completely dry for approximately eleven total hours over the past five years, a figure that accounts for sleep, meals, and a single visit to a movie theater in 2022 that he describes as 'the driest I've been since Obama.' Cardenas, who works at Reef Runner Dive Shop, begins each day at 6 a.m. with a boat dive that soaks him thoroughly by 7:15. He returns to the shop, teaches a confined-water session in the pool from 10 to noon, rinses gear from 1 to 2 p.m. (a process that, despite involving hosing down equipment, results in him becoming wetter than the equipment), and often leads an afternoon shore dive from 3 to 5. 'My commute doesn't help,' Cardenas noted. His route to the shop crosses a drainage ditch that floods during rain, which in Key Largo occurs approximately 200 days per year. 'Some people have a water feature in their garden. I have one in my commute.' Cardenas's perpetual dampness has had measurable effects. His feet have developed what a dermatologist described as 'permanent pruning,' a condition previously observed only in competitive swimmers and a handful of marine mammals. His phone is on its seventh waterproof case. He has not owned a pair of leather shoes since 2018. 'I forget what being dry feels like,' he said, wringing out his shirt during the interview. 'My girlfriend says I smell like neoprene and salt. My car smells like neoprene and salt. My apartment smells like neoprene and salt. It's consistent.' Cardenas was asked whether he had considered a career change. 'To what?' he replied. 'An office? With air conditioning and dry clothes? That sounds terrible. I'd rather be wet.' He has not used his home shower for bathing purposes in three years, preferring the outdoor rinse station at the shop. 'It's more efficient,' he said. 'I'm already wet.'