Divemaster's Pre-Dive Briefing Now Longer Than the Actual Dive

Guests aboard the dive vessel Aqua Meridian filed formal complaints this week after divemaster Lionel Rusk delivered a pre-dive briefing that lasted 72 minutes, exceeding the subsequent dive time of 48 minutes by a margin that passengers described as 'absurd' and 'a violation of the social contract between a divemaster and people who paid $180 to be underwater.' Rusk's briefing, which was scheduled for ten minutes, began conventionally with a review of hand signals and entry procedures. It then expanded to include a comprehensive overview of the reef's geological formation (14 minutes), a taxonomy of every fish species likely to be encountered (18 minutes), a detailed account of his personal history with the dive site (12 minutes), and a 9-minute anecdote about a whale shark sighting that Rusk conceded 'may have been a large piece of industrial plastic, but from below and at a distance, the silhouette was convincing.' 'I noticed people's eyes glazing over around minute thirty,' Rusk acknowledged. 'But the information was important. You can't appreciate a spotted drum if you don't understand its reproductive strategy.' Diver Sandra Hollis, who booked the trip as a birthday gift for her husband, described the experience as 'like being held hostage by a marine biology textbook.' Her husband declined to comment but was observed checking his dive computer for the time during the briefing. The dive itself, once it finally occurred, was described as 'fine' and 'anticlimactic after all that buildup.' The spotted drum was not observed. Rusk has been counseled by the boat operator to limit future briefings to fifteen minutes. He has complied by speaking faster, which has reduced the briefing to 51 minutes. 'I can't cut the whale shark story,' he said. 'It's the best part. Even if it was plastic.'