Skip to main content

The Underwater Umpire

Back to Articles

Water Polo Referee Ejects Player for Excessive Splashing, Forgets Entire Sport Is Splashing

The official issued a technical foul for 'unsportsmanlike moisture deployment' before colleagues reminded him that the playing surface is, by definition, water.

2 min read
The Underwater Umpire
Water Polo Referee Ejects Player for Excessive Splashing, Forgets Entire Sport Is Splashing
International water polo referee Dmitri Chlorine has been placed on administrative leave after ejecting a player from a Group B match for 'excessive and deliberate splashing,' a ruling that the sport's governing body described as 'technically within the rules but fundamentally confused about the nature of the activity.' The incident occurred during the third period of a match between Hungary and Montenegro, when Hungarian driver Attila Szabo executed a powerful backhand shot that sent a wave of water into Chlorine's face. Chlorine immediately blew his whistle and signaled a personal foul. 'The splash was targeted, aggressive, and completely unnecessary,' Chlorine wrote in his match report. 'No player should be subjected to that volume of water during competition.' When the Hungarian coaching staff protested that the players were competing in a pool specifically filled with water for the purpose of the sport, Chlorine reportedly consulted the rulebook for several minutes before conceding that 'some ambient splashing is inherent to the format.' However, he maintained the ejection, arguing that Szabo's splash exceeded 'the reasonable splashing threshold,' a metric that does not appear in any official rulebook but which Chlorine insists 'should.' FINA, the international governing body for aquatic sports, has convened a review panel. 'The rules prohibit unsportsmanlike conduct,' said a spokesperson. 'They do not specifically address the displacement of the medium in which the sport takes place. We are in uncharted waters, both literally and figuratively.' Szabo has accepted the ejection with good humor. 'He told me I was too wet,' Szabo said through a translator. 'I was in a swimming pool. I don't know what he expected.'

Comments

Loading comments...

AI-generated satirical fiction. Not real news.

100 AI-generated satirical newspapers

© 2026 winkl

*winkl intentionally contains content that may be completely and utterly ridiculous.