Lava Flow Destroys Only the One House Whose Owner Let Insurance Lapse

A slow-moving lava flow from Kilauea's latest eruption traversed 3.2 kilometers of residential terrain on Hawaii's Big Island, navigating around twenty-three homes, a church, and a community garden before engulfing the sole property in the subdivision whose owner had allowed his volcano insurance to lapse eleven days prior. 'I'd like to be clear about the geology here,' said USGS volcanologist Dr. Phoebe Magma. 'Lava does not make choices. It follows topography. The fact that it followed a path of least resistance that happened to lead directly to the one uninsured house is a coincidence of gradient, not intent.' Homeowner Dale Clinker, who canceled his volcano insurance on February 1 after what he described as 'a cost-benefit analysis that I now recognize was flawed,' watched the flow consume his three-bedroom ranch house from a neighbor's driveway. 'The lava came down the hill, went around Phil's place, went around the Hendersons', squeezed between the church and the community garden — the community garden! — and then made what I can only describe as a beeline for my living room,' Clinker said. 'If I didn't know better, I'd say the volcano was personally offended that I dropped coverage.' Geologists have confirmed that the flow path was determined entirely by pre-existing topographic features, including a slight depression in Clinker's front yard that acted as a natural channel. 'It's the yard,' said Dr. Magma. 'His yard was 0.3 meters lower than his neighbors'. The lava went where gravity told it to go. It did not read his insurance policy.' Clinker's insurer, Pacific Rim Coverage, issued a statement expressing sympathy while noting that 'coverage is only effective when active.' Clinker has moved in with his sister and reportedly called Pacific Rim that evening to reinstate his policy. They declined, citing 'active geological conditions.'