Patek Philippe Releases Watch So Complicated It Requires FAA Clearance to Wind

Patek Philippe stunned the horological world Thursday with the unveiling of its Ref. 9999 Grand Master Chime Hyper-Perpetual, a timepiece containing 847 individual complications that the company concedes 'may technically qualify as aerospace equipment.' The watch, which occupies a 62mm case carved from a single meteorite, features a minute repeater, a tourbillon cage containing a smaller tourbillon, a perpetual calendar accurate until the heat death of the universe, and what chief horologist Marc-Antoine Delacroix described as 'a complication that tells you the emotional state of the nearest Swiss canton.' 'We have achieved what no manufacture has dared attempt,' Delacroix said at the Geneva unveiling, steadying the 340-gram prototype with both hands. 'A watch so complicated that setting the time is itself a three-day procedure requiring notarized documentation.' The Federal Aviation Administration issued a brief statement confirming that the Ref. 9999's mainspring, when fully wound, stores enough potential energy to 'present a credible aviation hazard' and that owners will need to file a NOTAM before performing daily maintenance. Collectors have responded with characteristic restraint. A waiting list reportedly opened and closed within four minutes, with all seven units allocated to existing clients who had previously purchased at least one private island through the brand's concierge service. Retail price has not been disclosed, though insiders suggest it is denominated in a currency that does not yet exist. Patek Philippe's marketing team has already prepared the tagline: 'You never actually own a Ref. 9999. You merely look after it for the next regulatory body.'