Aura Photographer Captures Client's Aura, Discovers It Is Just Beige

Aura photographer Celestia Prism reported an unusual finding during a Tuesday session when her Kirlian-adjacent imaging equipment captured a client's aura and revealed it to be, in her words, 'just beige. Completely, uniformly, unapologetically beige.' The client, accounts manager Steve Lipman, 44, had booked the $120 aura photography session as a birthday gift from his wife, who had hoped the reading would reveal 'hidden depths or at least a nice indigo.' 'Most auras present as dynamic blends of color,' Prism explained, reviewing the portrait. 'Greens for healing, purples for intuition, golds for spiritual awakening. Steve's aura is the color of a corridor in a mid-range hotel. I've never seen anything like it. Or, more accurately, I've never seen anything so much like nothing.' Prism attempted three re-shoots, adjusted her camera's biofield sensitivity settings, and asked Lipman to 'think of something that makes you feel alive,' which Lipman said was 'probably my recliner.' 'The recliner answer actually intensified the beige,' Prism noted. Lipman was unfazed by the results. 'I like beige,' he said. 'My car is beige. My office is beige. My favorite pants are beige. If my aura is also beige, I think that shows consistency.' Prism, after consulting her reference materials, determined that beige in the auric spectrum corresponds to 'groundedness, practical energy, and a deep contentment with the status quo.' She described Lipman as 'possibly the most spiritually stable person I have ever photographed,' adding that 'it's just not very photogenic.' Lipman purchased a print of his beige aura for an additional $40 and plans to hang it in his beige living room. His wife has requested a refund. Prism says she has since encountered two additional beige auras, both belonging to people who described their hobbies as 'not really having hobbies.'