Sage Smudging Ceremony Sets Off Entire Building's Fire Alarm System for Third Time This Month

Apartment 7C's biweekly sage smudging ceremony activated the Parkview Towers' centralized fire alarm system for the third time this month on Tuesday, forcing the evacuation of 214 residents and prompting the arrival of three fire engines, two ambulances, and what building manager Carla Nunez described as 'an extremely patient fire marshal.' 'I understand that white sage has been used for purification for thousands of years,' Fire Marshal David Greer said, standing in the lobby while residents filed past in bathrobes and slippers. 'But the fire code does not have a ceremonial exemption. Smoke is smoke. The detector doesn't know if it's spiritual.' Resident and holistic wellness practitioner Indigo Sage — whose legal name, she confirmed, is actually Indigo Sage — defended her practice, noting that the ceremony is 'essential for maintaining the energetic integrity of my living space' and that 'negative energy doesn't just leave on its own.' 'I smudge every room,' Sage explained. 'The bedroom, the kitchen, the bathroom, the closets. I smudge the closets very thoroughly because negative energy hides in closets. That's where the bulk of the smoke comes from.' The building's HOA has attempted compromise, offering Sage a ground-floor unit with its own external ventilation. Sage declined, explaining that 'ground floor energy is incompatible with my spiritual practice' and that 'the seventh floor provides superior proximity to celestial influences.' Neighboring resident Bill Chernow, who has been evacuated from his apartment nine times in the past year due to Sage's ceremonies, expressed his feelings succinctly: 'I support religious freedom. I do not support getting out of the shower at 6 a.m. because apartment 7C is at it again.' Sage has proposed a solution: individual detector covers that she would remove after each ceremony. The fire marshal described this proposal as 'a federal offense' and suggested she 'try a candle.'