Lumber Hoarder's Garage Contains Wood Earmarked for Projects That Do Not and May Never Exist

An audit of hobbyist woodworker Patricia Elmore's garage has revealed approximately 1,800 board feet of hardwood lumber earmarked for specific projects that exist only as vague intentions in Elmore's mind and, in several cases, have not been mentioned aloud since the previous decade. The inventory includes: 400 board feet of black walnut, purchased in 2018 and designated for 'the dining table' — a project Elmore first referenced in 2017 but has not designed, drawn, or discussed in specifics beyond 'it'll be a big one.' 200 board feet of quarter-sawn white oak reserved for 'the bookcase,' a project whose specifications change each time Elmore visits a furniture gallery, and which currently exists as seventeen incompatible sketches in a notebook labeled IDEAS. 120 board feet of curly maple set aside for 'something special,' a designation Elmore has been unable to define further despite repeated questioning. 80 board feet of cherry that Elmore describes as 'too nice to use,' a classification that has effectively removed it from the available supply permanently. And approximately 1,000 board feet of 'miscellaneous domestic hardwoods' that Elmore purchased at various estate sales, mill closeouts, and 'that time I drove past a sawmill and couldn't help myself.' 'Every board has a purpose,' Elmore insisted, navigating the narrow aisle between stickered stacks that reach the garage ceiling. 'I just haven't matched every board to its purpose yet. Wood is an investment. It only gets more valuable with time.' Elmore's husband has parked his car in the driveway for four years. He describes the arrangement as 'temporary,' using the same word Elmore uses to describe the lumber storage. Neither party has defined a timeline for 'temporary.'