Lumber Yard Employee Develops Sixth Sense for Spotting Figure in Maple

Pat DeLuca has worked the hardwood section of Northern Lumber Supply in Duluth, Minnesota for seventeen years, and somewhere around year eleven, something changed. He can now identify figured maple without looking at it. 'I feel it,' DeLuca said, running his hand along a stack of rough-sawn boards that to the untrained eye appear identical. 'This one's plain. This one's plain. This one has chatoyance.' He pulled the board, and a quick pass with a hand plane revealed rippling, iridescent figure that would retail for three times the price of the boards surrounding it. DeLuca's coworkers have tested his ability extensively. In controlled trials conducted by the store manager, DeLuca correctly identified figured boards with 97% accuracy by touch alone and 91% accuracy by what he describes as 'the way it sounds when you tap it.' 'Figured maple resonates differently,' he explained. 'Plain maple goes thunk. Curly maple goes thonk. Quilted maple goes thwonk. Bird's eye goes pink.' He paused. 'I understand this sounds insane.' Word of DeLuca's talent has spread through the woodworking community, and customers now drive from three states away to have him select their lumber. He has been offered positions at high-end suppliers in New York and California but has declined them all, citing his attachment to Duluth's 'superior lumber energy.' Researchers at the University of Minnesota have asked DeLuca to participate in a study on haptic perception, but he is reluctant. 'What if they figure out how I do it and teach everyone?' he said. 'Then figured maple prices go through the roof because everyone can find it, and the whole economy collapses. I'm protecting the market.' He then identified a board of bird's-eye maple from across the room without touching it, attributing his detection to 'vibes.'