Man Who Started 'Quick Weekend Project' in March 2019 Estimates Completion by 2031

Dave Kowalski of suburban Chicago began what he described to his wife as 'a quick weekend project' on March 15, 2019. Six years later, the bookshelf has undergone seventeen design revisions, consumed $14,000 in lumber, and evolved into a built-in entertainment center with integrated lighting, hidden cable management, and load-bearing capacity sufficient to support a small automobile. 'The original plan was three shelves and some pocket screws,' Kowalski explained, gesturing at blueprints that now span eleven pages. 'But then I thought, what if I did dados instead of pocket screws? And if I'm doing dados, I should really do through-dados with a decorative face. And if the dados are decorative, the wood should be nicer. And if the wood is nicer, maybe it should be bigger.' Kowalski's wife, Sarah, has watched the project absorb their two-car garage, their savings account, and most of their marriage's conversational bandwidth. 'He told me it would take a weekend,' she said. 'I now measure time in units of bookshelf. Our youngest child has never known a home without sawdust.' The project has become something of a local landmark. Neighbors walk by and check on its progress the way one might monitor a construction site. The mailman has started leaving encouraging notes. Kowalski's updated timeline, which he presented to his family in a PowerPoint presentation last Thanksgiving, projects completion in 2031, 'assuming no further design modifications and uninterrupted shop time.' He then immediately showed a slide titled 'Potential Enhancement: Integrated Humidor Drawer' and his wife left the room. The family has been using a $39 IKEA Billy bookshelf in the interim.