Interplanetary Dig Site Permit Denied Due to Insufficient Parking

A planned excavation of what satellite imagery suggests may be a 2-billion-year-old alien settlement on Mars has been blocked by the Interplanetary Zoning Board, which cited the dig team's failure to provide adequate parking for the twelve spacecraft required for the operation. 'The application was thorough in its scientific justification,' said IZB Chair Commissioner Randall Oakes. 'Dr. Vasquez's team presented compelling evidence of subsurface structures consistent with manufactured architecture. The ground-penetrating radar data is extraordinary. However, Section 4.7.2 of the Interplanetary Excavation Code requires one designated parking space per vessel, plus two visitor spaces, and the proposed site plan shows vehicles parked in a loose cluster described as wherever they land.' Dr. Elena Vasquez, the mission's principal investigator, has expressed frustration. 'We are talking about potentially the most significant archaeological discovery in human history, and it has been derailed by a parking ordinance that was written for strip mall construction on Earth and somehow got applied to Mars.' The IZB has offered a compromise: the team may resubmit with a revised site plan showing designated parking areas with clear markings, accessible routes to the dig site, and at least one space designated for handicapped spacecraft. The parking surface must be graded and compacted, which on Mars requires equipment the team does not have. 'We're asking them to pave a parking lot on Mars before they can dig for alien ruins,' said mission engineer Dr. Todd Briggs. 'The bureaucracy has gone interplanetary.' Commissioner Oakes disagreed. 'Zoning exists for a reason. If we let one team park wherever they want on Mars, soon everyone will be parking wherever they want on Mars. Then what? Chaos.' The team has hired a Martian land use attorney, which is apparently a profession that now exists.