Yoga Studio's 'Judgment-Free Zone' Policy Tested by Man in Cargo Shorts

The Tranquil Lotus Yoga Studio's foundational policy of being a 'judgment-free zone of radical acceptance and unconditional positive regard' was tested Monday when Greg Halverson, 51, arrived for the beginner vinyasa class wearing cargo shorts with eleven visible pockets, white crew socks pulled to mid-calf, and a pair of New Balance 624s. 'We welcome everyone,' said studio owner Dharma Rose, visibly straining. 'All bodies, all backgrounds, all levels of experience. We do not judge. We observe without attachment. We — he has a fanny pack.' Halverson, a construction project manager attending at his doctor's suggestion, was unaware of yoga's sartorial conventions. He laid out a beach towel where other students had mats, removed his sneakers to reveal white tube socks, and asked if there was 'a TV or something' to follow along with. 'The instructor is the TV,' whispered the student next to him, who was wearing $120 Lululemon leggings and appeared to be experiencing a crisis of spiritual generosity. Instructor Sage Moonwater welcomed Halverson with what witnesses described as 'a smile that contained multitudes, not all of them positive.' When Halverson asked if he could 'just do the stretchy parts and skip the breathing stuff,' Moonwater paused for seven seconds before responding, 'All parts of the practice are the stretchy parts.' Halverson completed the class. He performed every pose with the confidence of someone who has never seen yoga performed and is working from first principles. His downward dog resembled a push-up. His warrior two looked like a man waiting for a bus. His tree pose involved grabbing a wall-mounted coat hook for balance. 'He had a wonderful practice,' Moonwater told reporters afterward, with the distant stare of someone who has just completed their own private spiritual challenge. 'We are all on the path. Some of us are on the path in cargo shorts.' Halverson said he would return next week. He asked if he should bring his own towel again.