NASA Confirms: Moon is, In Fact, Made of Green Cheese (But It's Artisanal)

Houston, we have… lactose tolerance? After decades of dismissing the claims of poets, lunatics, and your Aunt Mildred, NASA has finally admitted the Moon is constructed primarily of dairy product. However, in a press conference held earlier today (and suspiciously catered by a Wisconsin cheese collective), Administrator Bill Nelson clarified: it’s *artisanal* green cheese. “We initially detected anomalous readings during the Artemis I mission,” Nelson stated, nervously adjusting his tie. “We thought it was instrument malfunction. Then the rover started… nibbling. Repeatedly. Turns out, it’s a complex blend of aged cheddar, a hint of gorgonzola, and a surprisingly robust stilton core. The green hue? Spirulina, apparently. Very on-trend.” The discovery has sent shockwaves through the scientific community, particularly the astrophysics department at MIT, which has reportedly begun accepting applications for “Lunar Palate” specialists. Conspiracy theorists, predictably, are claiming this was known all along, and that the Apollo missions were actually elaborate cheese-tasting expeditions. But the biggest question remains: who *made* the Moon? Sources within NASA (who requested anonymity, fearing repercussions from the International Dairy Federation) suggest a rogue collective of space-faring Swiss monks. “They’re very secretive,” the source whispered. “And they have a *lot* of fondue pots.” Meanwhile, the price of moon rocks on the black market has plummeted, replaced by a booming trade in lunar cheese samples. Experts advise against consumption, citing potential… digestive consequences. And a distinct lack of crackers.