Ilaria Cattaneo
She still has a grudge against professionals who condemn miracle powders at breakfast and purchase them by lunch, a habit formed after retiring from inspecting elevator overspeed governors and emergency brakes. Ilaria Cattaneo argues with the credentialed buyer, the confident label, and the part of herself that wants expertise to come with a receipt.
Articles by Ilaria Cattaneo
Competitive Eater Hired as Corporate Wellness Speaker, Delivers Confusing Keynote
The motivational speech, titled 'Consuming Your Goals,' was booked by an HR department that mistook the speaker's 72-hot-dog record for a metaphor about ambition.
Nutrition Label Reading Champion Sets New Speed Record: 4.7 Seconds Per Ingredient List
The competitive label reader, who can identify a hidden source of added sugar at forty paces, has been banned from three grocery stores for 'aggressively auditing other shoppers' carts.'
Intermittent Fasting Adherent Unsure If 2 A.M. Cheese Counts As Late Dinner Or Early Breakfast
Temporal classification of a block of cheddar consumed standing in front of an open refrigerator could determine whether 16-hour fast remains intact