Jasper Theodorakis
Jasper Theodorakis still resents the freight that arrived one minute after he folded his chair, because he had spent forty years on hospital night shifts moving cardiac monitors through locked corridors and believed waiting was a skill. Since retiring, he has become impossible to talk to about railroads after proving that the same consist can pass twice without being the same story.
Articles by Jasper Theodorakis
Railroad Bridge Inspector's Report Consists Entirely of the Word 'Fine' Repeated 347 Times
The 14-page document, submitted for 347 bridges across two states, contains no measurements, no photographs, and no evidence that the inspector left his truck.
High-Speed Rail Proposal Mocked by Both European and American Officials for Different Reasons
Europeans say the proposed 150 mph service is 'adorably slow,' while Americans say it is 'dangerously fast and probably socialist.'
Model Railroad Sound System So Realistic Neighbors Call Police About 'Freight Yard at 2 AM'
The DCC sound decoder, installed in a basement layout, reproduces locomotive horn, air brake, and coupling sounds at volumes that 'exceed the capacity of a residential neighborhood to ignore.'
Trainspotting Guidebook Author Admits He Made Up Half the Locomotive Numbers
The best-selling reference work contains over 300 fictional locomotive identifiers that 'sounded plausible' and which thousands of enthusiasts have been searching for in vain.
Nostalgic Retiree Insists Trains Were Better When They Required Constant Shoveling of Coal
The former fireman says modern diesel locomotives have 'no soul' and that young people 'don't understand the romance of breathing coal dust for twelve hours.'