Model Railroad Sound System So Realistic Neighbors Call Police About 'Freight Yard at 2 AM'

Model railroad enthusiast Frank Decibel received a visit from local police early Saturday morning after his newly installed digital sound system, which reproduces locomotive horns, air brakes, and coupling impacts at prototypical volume levels, prompted three neighbors to report 'freight yard activity' in a residential neighborhood. 'The officers were very professional,' Decibel said. 'They asked where the train was. I said it's in my basement. They said what train. I said it's a 1:87 scale model of a Union Pacific SD70ACe. They asked why it sounds like a real train. I said because I spent $4,000 on sound decoders.' The sound system, which includes individual speakers in each of Decibel's 23 locomotives, reproduces engine start-up sequences, horn blasts, dynamic braking, and what Decibel proudly describes as 'the authentic rhythmic exhaust of an EMD 16-cylinder prime mover.' The sound is amplified through a subwoofer that was originally designed for home theater systems. 'The subwoofer was a mistake,' acknowledged Decibel's wife, Lorraine. 'The horn is fine. The bell is fine. But the idle sound — a deep, throbbing diesel rumble that continues 24 hours a day because Frank leaves his locomotives running overnight to break in the motors — that's the one the neighbors hear through the foundation walls.' Neighbor Sandra Quiet, whose bedroom shares a wall with the Decibels' basement, has been most affected. 'I thought a factory had opened next door,' she said. 'There's this constant rumbling with occasional horns. At 2 AM, I heard what sounded like cars coupling. Twelve impacts in a row. It was his model switching yard.' Decibel has agreed to reduce the volume during nighttime hours and to disable the coupling sound effects between 10 PM and 7 AM. He has, however, refused to turn off the idle rumble. 'A locomotive doesn't just stop idling because the neighbors are sleeping,' he said. 'That's not how prototype operations work.'