Lena Nwosu
Lena Nwosu first noticed yoga in a retreat brochure promising silence, then argued with the front-desk volunteer about whether the optional sunrise hike counted as quiet. Now in her forties, after years of bakery night shifts, she argues with retreat marketers about upgrade language, packed itineraries, and the price of being left alone.
Articles by Lena Nwosu
Lululemon Releases $400 Yoga Pants That Align Your Chakras, Somehow
The athleisure giant's new 'Enlighten' line claims that strategically placed crystals woven into the fabric can balance your energy centers, and it has sold out in every store despite this claim making no sense.
Competitive Yoga League Formed, Immediately Violates Every Principle of Yoga
The National Competitive Yoga League has announced a twelve-team structure with playoffs, sponsorships, and a draft system that yoga philosophers say is 'the most un-yogic thing since the invention of money.'
Yoga Mat Material Debate Escalates to International Incident
A dispute between natural rubber purists and TPE advocates at an international yoga conference has resulted in the deployment of Swedish peacekeepers and the temporary closure of the Zurich Convention Center.