Solo Board Gamer Realizes He Is Essentially Playing An Expensive Spreadsheet

A solo board gamer has experienced what he describes as "a moment of devastating clarity" upon realizing, mid-turn in a resource management game, that he is essentially operating a physical spreadsheet with better graphic design.

The realization struck Thomas Solitaire during turn 47 of a solo campaign game that involves tracking resources across multiple ledgers, converting inputs to outputs via reference tables, and recording results on a scoring pad.

"I was cross-referencing my production track against the demand matrix when it hit me," Thomas recounted. "I'm doing Excel. I'm doing Excel with wooden cubes. I paid $75 to do Excel with wooden cubes on a Tuesday night while my family watches television in the next room."

The game, which Thomas plays solo approximately three times per week, requires approximately ninety minutes per session and involves no other human beings, no narrative surprise, and no outcome that Thomas would describe to anyone voluntarily.

"If someone asks me what I did last night, I can either say 'I played a board game' — which sounds social and fun — or I can tell the truth, which is that I sat alone and optimized a resource conversion engine for ninety minutes. One of these descriptions is accurate."

Despite the existential reckoning, Thomas has not stopped playing. He completed the current game, recorded his score in a personal database, and set up the next scenario.

"The spreadsheet comparison isn't entirely fair," Thomas reflected. "Excel doesn't have wooden cubes. And you can't roll dice in Excel. Well, you can. With a formula. But it's not the same."

He paused. "Is it the same?"