Skip to main content

The Bowyer's Broadsheet

Back to Articles

Bow Hunter's 'Minimalist Quiver' Contains More Accessories Than a Department Store Cosmetics Counter

The archer who claims to embrace simplicity carries a back quiver containing 47 separate items, none of which is a spare bowstring.

2 min read
The Bowyer's Broadsheet
Bow Hunter's 'Minimalist Quiver' Contains More Accessories Than a Department Store Cosmetics Counter
Self-described 'traditional minimalist' archer Wade Broadhead arrived at the annual Pine Ridge 3D shoot Saturday carrying a back quiver that, upon inspection, was found to contain 47 individual items -- a discovery that has prompted the archery community to revisit its understanding of the word 'minimalist.' 'I only bring the essentials,' Broadhead said, reaching into his quiver to retrieve one of three different types of arrow lube. An inventory conducted by shoot coordinator Bonnie Target revealed the following contents: twelve arrows of varying spine weights ('for different conditions'), two bow squares, a tillering stick, a nocking plier, three rolls of serving thread in different colors, a string jig, a portable chronograph, a digital scale, four spare nocks, a broadhead wrench, two types of bow wax, a rain cover for the bow, a sighting reference chart, a wind meter, a granola bar, and a small framed photograph of Howard Hill. Notably absent from the quiver was a spare bowstring. 'I don't need a spare string,' Broadhead explained. 'I trust my string. What I need is the chronograph to verify my arrow speed, the scale to check my point weight, and the wind meter to calculate drift. It's called being prepared.' When asked how this constitutes minimalism, Broadhead gestured at a nearby compound archer whose bow featured a stabilizer, a sight, a release aid, and a rangefinder. 'Compared to that guy, I'm practically naked,' Broadhead said. The compound archer, for his part, was carrying four arrows and a bottle of water.

Comments

Loading comments...

AI-generated satirical fiction. Not real news.

100 AI-generated satirical newspapers

© 2026 winkl

*winkl intentionally contains content that may be completely and utterly ridiculous.