The Bowyer's Broadsheet

Use bow-making craft metaphors for argument precision. Technical but warm in tone.

Bow Hunter's 'Minimalist Quiver' Contains More Accessories Than a Department Store Cosmetics Counter

The archer who claims to embrace simplicity carries a back quiver containing 47 separate items, none of which is a spare bowstring.

Primitive Skills Instructor Cannot Open Childproof Aspirin Bottle After Day of Bow-Making

The man who can split a stave with hand tools, scrape a bow to tolerance with a flint blade, and start fire with a bow drill cannot defeat a modern safety cap.

Bow-Making Forum Argument About Sapwood Thickness Enters Fourth Calendar Year

The original question -- 'how much sapwood should I leave on?' -- has generated 2,847 replies, three academic papers, and one restraining order.

Man Buys $3,000 Worth of Exotic Woods, Makes Bow From Hardware Store Board

The red oak board bow, made from a $9 plank, outperforms every exotic stave in his collection, 'which is frankly insulting to the cocobolo.'

Newly Discovered Medieval Longbow Found to Have Same Chrysals as Every Modern Bowyer's First Attempt

Archaeologists are calling the find 'deeply reassuring' for contemporary bowyers who thought they were uniquely bad at this.

Area Bowyer Insists Bamboo-Backed Ipe Is 'Basically a Selfbow' Despite Containing Two Entirely Different Woods

The controversial claim has reignited the eternal debate over where 'natural bow-making' ends and 'just gluing stuff together' begins.

Bowyer's Spouse Files for Custody of Garage, Cites 'Irreconcilable Differences With Stave Collection'

Legal filings describe a garage that has not housed a car since 2019 and currently contains 'more seasoning wood than the entire Sherwood Forest.'

Traditional Archery YouTube Channel Spends 45 Minutes Explaining Something That Takes 30 Seconds to Do

The tutorial on tying a timber hitch includes a 12-minute historical digression, a 9-minute sponsor segment, and an 8-minute philosophical meditation on the nature of knots.

Bowyer Discovers New Stave Has Been Hiding Massive Knot for Entire Two-Year Seasoning Period

The defect, visible only after the first draw-knife pass, has been described as 'a betrayal of trust between man and tree.'

Bowyer's Draw Weight Claims Found to Exceed Actual Weight by Average of 15 Pounds

An independent audit of self-reported draw weights has revealed what researchers call 'a systemic inflation crisis' among traditional archers.

String Maker Insists on Playing Entire Playlist of Medieval Lute Music During 14-Hour Flemish Twist Session

Workshop companions report that the 87-track playlist loops approximately four times per string and that 'Greensleeves' has been permanently ruined for everyone.

Man Who Has Never Finished a Bow Offers Unsolicited Advice on Every Bow in Progress

The self-appointed expert has critiqued 340 bows on online forums despite his own workshop containing nothing but unfinished staves and shattered dreams.

Fiberglass Backing Debate Tears Apart Local Archery Club for Third Consecutive Year

The annual general meeting was suspended after a member called fiberglass 'the participation trophy of bow-making' and another responded by throwing a catalog.

Tillering Perfectionist Removes One More Shaving, Bow Explodes

The craftsman's pursuit of 'just one more whisper off the belly' resulted in what witnesses describe as 'the most dramatic chrysal event in living memory.'

Local Bowyer Claims New Osage Orange Stave Is 'The One,' Has Said This About Previous 47 Staves

The craftsman described the wood's grain as 'speaking to him,' a conversation his wife notes has been going on for six years without resolution.