Local Bowyer Claims New Osage Orange Stave Is 'The One,' Has Said This About Previous 47 Staves

Veteran bowyer Darren Tillerman announced Tuesday that a newly acquired Osage orange stave is 'the one' -- the perfect piece of wood from which he will craft his magnum opus, a 72-inch English longbow of unprecedented beauty and performance. The proclamation marks the 48th time Tillerman has made this exact claim since 2019. 'You don't understand,' Tillerman told reporters, cradling the stave like an infant. 'Look at this grain. It's absolutely pristine. The growth rings are tight, the sapwood-heartwood transition is textbook, and it practically hums when you run your thumb along the belly.' Tillerman's wife, Carol, provided context from the kitchen doorway. 'He said the same thing about the one in March. And the one before that. We have forty-seven staves seasoning in the garage. I haven't parked inside since 2021.' Records confirm that of the 47 previous 'chosen staves,' fourteen were eventually deemed to have 'hidden pin knots that betrayed my trust,' nine were diagnosed with 'chrysals that appeared out of nowhere,' and twenty-four remain in various stages of seasoning that Tillerman describes as 'not quite ready.' When asked what makes this particular stave different, Tillerman closed his eyes, inhaled deeply, and said, 'She told me herself.' Carol has begun looking into storage units.