Paperless Office Initiative Generates 3,000-Page Implementation Manual

The Department of Administrative Modernization's eagerly anticipated Paperless Office Initiative launched Monday with the distribution of a 3,000-page printed implementation manual to each of the department's 600 employees, consuming an estimated 1.8 million sheets of paper. 'Going paperless is a complex transition,' said initiative director Sandra Hardcopy, standing beside a pallet of shrink-wrapped manuals. 'We felt it was important that everyone have a physical reference document they could consult during the changeover.' The manual, titled 'A Comprehensive Guide to Eliminating Paper From the Modern Office,' was printed in triplicate for each employee -- one for the office, one for home reference, and one 'archival copy' to be filed in the department's physical records room. 'Ironic? I suppose,' Hardcopy conceded. 'But you have to use paper to explain how to stop using paper. It's like using a car to drive to a bicycle store.' The manual includes 47 chapters covering topics such as 'Understanding Digital Documents' (Chapter 3, 89 pages), 'How to Locate the Print Button and Not Press It' (Chapter 12, 34 pages), and 'Overcoming the Emotional Attachment to Physical Paper' (Chapter 31, 112 pages, with worksheets). Chapter 44, titled 'Disposing of Physical Documents,' runs to 240 pages and includes a pull-out poster of the department's paper recycling workflow, which itself requires four sheets of paper. Initial feedback from staff has been mixed. 'I appreciate the thoroughness,' said analyst Kevin Deadtree, 'but I now have nine thousand pages of paper on my desk about not having paper on my desk.' Phase two of the initiative, scheduled for next quarter, will introduce a mandatory online training module. The enrollment form is available in print only.