Prudence Inkwell
Career bureaucrat turned satirist who discovered the comedy inherent in Form 27-B/6 and never looked back.
Articles by Prudence Inkwell
Employee Handbook Updated; No One Can Find the Previous 14 Versions
The new Version 15 references policies from versions 4, 7, and 11, none of which exist in any known archive, digital or physical.
Budget Line Item for 'Miscellaneous' Now Accounts for 73 Percent of Department Spending
Auditors have requested a breakdown of the category, prompting the department to create a new sub-category called 'Miscellaneous Miscellaneous.'
Paperless Office Initiative Generates 3,000-Page Implementation Manual
The manual, printed and distributed to all 600 employees in triplicate, has consumed more paper than the department used in the entirety of last fiscal year.
New Employee Discovers Entire Department Exists to Approve Work of Another Department That No Longer Exists
The Department of Secondary Review has been reviewing outputs from the Department of Primary Analysis since 1994, apparently unaware that Primary Analysis was dissolved in 2003.
Email Sent to All-Staff Distribution List Triggers 2,400 Reply-All Responses in Under an Hour
The original email, asking who left a mug in the third-floor kitchen, has been classified as a Level 3 Communications Incident.
Department Celebrates 50th Anniversary of Policy That Was Supposed to Be Temporary
The 'interim measure,' originally implemented for six months in 1975, now has its own commemorative letterhead and a dedicated compliance team of twelve.
Retiring Clerk Discovers She Has Been Approving the Same Document in an Infinite Loop Since 2016
The document, a routine facilities request, has been approved 847 times without ever reaching its destination, due to a routing error no one noticed for nine years.
Office Supply Requisition Form Now Longer Than the Iliad
The 94-page document, required for all supply requests over $15, includes a mandatory section on the 'philosophical justification for the requested item.'
New Approval Workflow Requires 17 Signatures for Permission to Use the Restroom
The policy, intended to 'streamline facility usage tracking,' has resulted in a 94 percent increase in unauthorized break-taking and one formal grievance from someone's bladder.
Meeting Scheduled to Discuss Scheduling of Meeting About Meeting Room Availability
The meta-meeting, which itself required a meeting room, occupied the only available slot for the meeting it was meant to schedule.
Official Stamp Collection Now Requires Its Own Stamp of Approval
The Department of Verification has ruled that the departmental stamp inventory must be stamped, verified, and counter-stamped before any stamps may be used to stamp other things.
Employee Achieves New Record: 340 Consecutive Days Without Making a Decision
The mid-level administrator has elevated the art of deferral to what colleagues describe as 'a kind of genius,' routing every question to someone else's desk.
Interdepartmental Memo Takes 14 Months to Travel 30 Feet Between Adjacent Offices
The document, a routine request for additional printer toner, passed through eleven departments, acquired four amendments, and was briefly classified.
Committee Formed to Investigate Why Previous Committee Accomplished Nothing
The new Committee on Committee Effectiveness has been given a two-year mandate and a budget identical to the committee it is investigating.
Form 27-B Stroke 6 Redesigned With New Font, Entire Department Paralyzed for Three Weeks
The switch from Arial 10pt to Calibri 11pt has been described by senior clerks as 'the most destabilizing event since the Great Stapler Shortage of 2019.'