Performance Review System Crashes Under Weight of Own Rubric

The Department of Personnel Evaluation's new digital performance review system crashed spectacularly during its first deployment last week after the 147-criteria evaluation rubric it was designed to process proved too complex for the department's server infrastructure. The system, which cost $2.3 million to develop over three years, was intended to replace the previous 12-criteria paper-based review. The expanded rubric was developed by the Comprehensive Assessment Working Group, which determined that 12 criteria were insufficient to capture the full dimensionality of employee performance. 'We identified 147 distinct performance vectors,' said Working Group chair Tabitha Benchmark. 'Everything from core competencies to interpersonal dynamics to what we call Ambient Productivity -- the degree to which an employee's mere presence contributes to the work environment.' Ambient Productivity is assessed on a seven-point scale. The crash occurred when 600 supervisors attempted to submit reviews simultaneously. Each review required responses to 147 questions, each with a seven-point scale and a mandatory 50-word justification. The database received approximately 6.2 million data entries in under an hour and responded by becoming, in the words of IT Director Paul Overload, 'completely inert.' 'The server essentially had a panic attack,' Overload explained. 'It received more performance data than it could handle and stopped performing. If it were an employee, it would score very low on Criterion 94: Grace Under Computational Pressure.' The department has reverted to paper reviews while the system is repaired. However, the paper version of the 147-criteria rubric is 23 pages long, and the department has already received complaints from supervisors who say completing one review takes longer than the performance period it covers. 'I spent four days reviewing a single employee,' said supervisor Angela Criterion. 'The employee in question has been here for three weeks.' The Working Group has convened to evaluate the performance of the performance review system. They are using the 147-criteria rubric.