8-Year-Old Flashes V5 Dad Has Been Projecting Since January

BOULDER, CO Local dad and weekend warrior Todd Reilly was left spiritually wrecked Saturday afternoon after watching an 8-year-old girl named Zoe Martinez casually flash a V5 hes been working since early January. She didnt even warm up, Reilly whispered, still seated on his crashpad an hour later. Just walked up, asked if it was okay to try, and... stuck the crux like it was a monkey bar. The problem in question, Crisis Arete, is a short, slopey line notorious for subtle footwork and psychological damage. Reilly had been projecting it on-and-off for months, logging multiple attempts, four beta videos, and at least two audible pep talks directed at his own kneecaps. She said it looked fun, said witness Marco Velez. Then just... floated up it. No power screams. No chalk adjustments. Just pure, uncut joy. Zoe, who was wearing glittery Crocs and a unicorn hoodie with the horn still attached, said she liked the jumpy part and asked if there were any taller ones with more colors. Reilly, meanwhile, reportedly fumbled to find an explanation, citing inconsistent humidity, residual sweat, and youth ligaments. Its a reachy crux for adults, he insisted. Like, shes the perfect size to just slot into the movement. Honestly, my shoes are probably too aggressive. Other climbers attempted to console him. Sometimes kids just dont have fear, said one, patting Reilly on the shoulder. And sometimes they dont have jobs, bills, or rotator cuff issues. Zoes father, who is not a climber, said she got into the sport after watching a YouTube video titled Cats Climbing Walls. We thought it was a phase, he said. But shes been hanging off the doorframe at home for weeks. We had to take down the spice rack. Reilly has not attempted the problem since, though he was seen logging back on to 8a.nu under the username CrimpSurvivor84 to quietly downgrade the routes condition to damp and add a private note: Consider new shoes. Possibly therapy. Zoe, for her part, was last seen hopping across pads and asking if V7s have more dinosaurs in them. When reached for comment, she simply said, That one was squishy. Can we get pizza now?