Conspiracy Theory Community Shocked to Discover One of Their Theories Was Actually True, Immediately Abandons It

The online conspiracy research community known as the Deep Truth Collective experienced an unprecedented crisis this week when one of its longstanding theories -- that Millbrook County had been diverting parking meter revenue to an undisclosed fund -- was confirmed by a county audit. The community immediately abandoned the theory. 'If they're admitting to it, that means it's a distraction,' wrote prominent collective member @TruthArchitect in a 3,000-word post. 'The real question is: what are they diverting the diverted money to? The parking meters are just the surface layer. We need to go deeper.' The Millbrook County audit, released Tuesday, found that approximately $340,000 in parking meter revenue had been redirected to a discretionary fund used primarily to pay for office furniture and a holiday party. The county manager has resigned. 'This is exactly what a cover story looks like,' said collective member Sandra Layers, who has been investigating Millbrook County's parking meters for three years. 'They sacrifice one guy, admit to a small crime, and everyone stops looking. Classic limited hangout.' Layers has already developed an alternative theory involving the parking meters that she says 'goes much higher' and involves 'entities I can't name yet for safety reasons.' The collective's forum shows a clear pattern: prior to the audit's release, the parking meter theory had 12,000 posts and was considered the group's 'most promising active investigation.' Within 48 hours of confirmation, the thread was archived with the tag 'COMPROMISED -- TOO OBVIOUS.' 'A conspiracy theory that turns out to be true is just a news story,' explained @TruthArchitect. 'And we don't do news stories. We do truth.' The collective has redirected its attention to Millbrook County's fire hydrant maintenance schedule, which one member has noted 'follows a pattern that is definitely not random.'