'Do Your Own Research' Advocate's Research Consists Entirely of Watching YouTube at 2 AM

Local free thinker Derek Algorithms, who frequently admonishes friends and family to 'do your own research,' has conducted approximately 1,400 hours of research since 2022, all of which has taken place on YouTube between the hours of midnight and 4 AM. 'I don't trust mainstream sources,' Algorithms explained from his recliner, which bears a permanent indentation from what his wife estimates are 6,000 hours of total sitting time. 'I go straight to the people who are actually investigating. The independent thinkers. The ones the algorithm doesn't want you to find.' Algorithms' primary source is a YouTube channel called TruthHawk Uncensored, operated by a man in Scranton, Pennsylvania, who films 45-minute monologues in front of a green screen displaying stock photos of courthouses. 'TruthHawk connects dots that nobody else is connecting,' Algorithms said. 'He's the most important journalist of our generation. He also sells supplements.' When asked whether his research has included peer-reviewed journals, government databases, primary source documents, or any material that requires reading, Algorithms paused. 'I watched a three-hour documentary,' he offered. 'It had citations at the end. I didn't check them, but they were there. That's peer review.' Algorithms' wife, Sandra, reports that his research methodology follows a consistent pattern: 'He watches one video, then the algorithm suggests a more extreme video, then a more extreme one, and by 3 AM he's explaining to me that mattress stores are a front for something.' Algorithms has announced plans to start his own channel, TruthEagle, which he describes as 'TruthHawk but more independent.' He has purchased a green screen.