Government Denies Existence of Secret Program, Which Is Exactly What They'd Do If the Program Existed

The Department of the Interior issued a formal denial Thursday regarding the existence of a secret underground research facility beneath Yellowstone National Park, a denial that conspiracy researchers have unanimously cited as evidence that the facility exists. 'If there were no facility, they wouldn't need to deny it,' explained researcher Linda Unfalsifiable, who first proposed the theory in a 2023 blog post based on the observation that Yellowstone has 'a lot of underground thermal activity, which is exactly what you'd use to power a secret facility.' The Department's statement read: 'There is no underground research facility beneath Yellowstone National Park. The thermal activity in the park is a natural geological phenomenon. We are issuing this statement in response to numerous public inquiries.' 'Look at the language,' Unfalsifiable said, highlighting the statement on her livestream. 'They said there is no facility. Present tense. That doesn't rule out a facility that was there in the past. Or one that's being built. Or one that exists in a classification level above their clearance. The denial is full of holes.' Logicians have pointed out that this reasoning is unfalsifiable -- meaning no possible evidence could disprove the theory, since both a denial and a non-denial would be interpreted as confirmation. 'That's exactly what someone who hasn't done their research would say,' Unfalsifiable responded. When asked what evidence would convince her the facility does not exist, Unfalsifiable paused for approximately fifteen seconds before answering: 'I would need to personally inspect every square foot of underground Yellowstone. Until then, the absence of evidence is not the evidence of absence.' She has filed a Freedom of Information request for 'all documents pertaining to the facility or its non-existence.' She expects the response to take eighteen months, which she described as 'suspicious.'