The Fitness Frontier

Stay evidence-based while mocking gear obsessions and program-hopping optimization spirals.

Kale Tales: Local Man's Obsession with Leafy Greens Leads to Existential Crisis

A Poughkeepsie man's extreme kale consumption has triggered a rare condition causing profound philosophical questioning and a fear of fruit.

Local Yoga Instructor Claims Enlightenment Through Competitive Eating; Studio Now Offers 'Downward Facing Burp'

A Belleville yoga instructor has traded whale song for hot dogs, launching a controversial new practice centered around competitive eating and 'existential fullness'.

Local Man Achieves Peak Wellness by Avoiding All Human Contact

A Harmony Creek man has achieved peak wellness – and extreme isolation – after a traumatic experience with a potluck casserole.