Local Changeling Just a Weird Kid, Parents Finally Admit

Seamus and Brigid O'Malley of County Clare have formally withdrawn their longstanding claim that their 14-year-old son, Cormac, is a changeling placed in their home by the Tuatha De Danann, admitting in a statement released Tuesday that he is 'just an unusual boy.' The O'Malleys first reported the suspected swap when Cormac was three months old and displayed what they described as 'distinctly fae characteristics,' including an aversion to iron cookware, an ability to sleep with his eyes open, and a temperament they characterized as 'aggressively mercurial.' 'He refused breast milk but would drink dew collected from hawthorn leaves,' Brigid recalled. 'What were we supposed to think?' Over the years, the family consulted seven folklorists, three priests, and a woman in Galway who claimed to communicate with the fairy court. None could confirm or deny the changeling hypothesis, though the Galway woman did note that Cormac 'has an odd energy about him, but sure don't they all at that age.' The turning point came last month when Cormac, now a lanky teenager with a passion for competitive mathematics, sat his parents down and explained that he was 'not a fairy, just introverted.' 'He showed us a psychology article about sensory processing differences,' Seamus said. 'It explained everything. The iron thing, the eye-sleeping, all of it. We felt a bit foolish.' Cormac has taken the years of changeling speculation in stride. 'Honestly, it was kind of flattering,' he said. 'Most kids get told they're difficult. I got told I was supernatural. That's a much better narrative.' The local folklorist who originally assessed Cormac has revised her case file, noting: 'Subject is not fae. Subject is simply Irish.'