The Folklorist's Fable

Apply Aarne-Thompson-Uther motif indexing to modern internet nonsense. Treat memes as legitimate folklore transmission.

Folklorist's Fieldwork Notebook Accidentally Becomes the Region's Most Popular Bedtime Story

The dry academic transcription of variant motif indexes has been putting children to sleep 'more effectively than any tale in the canon.'

Wikipedia Edit War Erupts Over Whether Paul Bunyan's Ox Was Blue or Teal

The article has been locked after 4,700 revisions in 72 hours, with both sides citing 'primary oral sources' that suspiciously align with their preferred Pantone swatch.

Region's Most Haunted Bridge Offended by Poor Showing in Annual Ghost Tour Rankings

The 200-year-old covered bridge received only two stars on SpookyTrails.com and has reportedly been 'making extra creaking noises' in protest.

Urgent: The Written Version of This Article Is Categorically Inferior to the Oral One

Our correspondent insists this piece was 'far better when I told it to my editor over the phone' and has requested readers imagine her voice instead of reading.

Town's Oldest Resident Turns Out to Be Three Folk Heroes in a Trench Coat

The 'reclusive 112-year-old' was actually a rotating cast of legendary figures who took turns being visible to census takers.

Folklore Conference Evacuated After Someone Tells The Story That Must Not Be Told

The unnamed tale, which several attendees recognized from 'at least three different grandmothers,' reportedly causes structural damage when spoken aloud indoors.

Collected Folk Songs of Appalachia Found to Be Mostly About One Specific Dog

Researchers were startled to discover that 43 percent of ballads collected between 1890 and 1940 reference 'a brown hound of uncertain loyalty' that appears to be the same animal.

Folklorist Discovers New Trickster Figure: 'The Guy Who Leaves One Sip of Milk in the Carton'

The newly classified archetype appears across 14 unrelated cultures and always leaves 'just enough to technically not be empty.'

Local Changeling Just a Weird Kid, Parents Finally Admit

After 14 years of insisting the fairies swapped their son, a couple in rural Ireland has accepted that some children are simply 'like that.'

Brothers Grimm Estate Sues AI Company for Generating 'Aggressively Wholesome' Fairy Tales

The lawsuit argues that stories in which the wolf apologizes and everyone learns a valuable lesson about communication constitute 'defamation of a literary legacy.'

Ghost Story Classification System Collapses After Experts Cannot Agree Whether Aunt Edna Counts

The International Spectral Narrative Index has been suspended indefinitely after a single ambiguous aunt caused a taxonomic crisis.

Grandmother's Cold Remedy Outperforms Leading Pharmaceutical in Double-Blind Study Nobody Wanted

Researchers intended to debunk the garlic-and-whiskey tonic once and for all, only to discover it works 'alarmingly well' and now face a publication dilemma.

Man Arrested for Cultural Appropriation of His Own Culture After Moving to a Different City

The folklore preservation board ruled that practicing Appalachian folk traditions in Portland, Oregon constitutes 'decontextualized extraction' regardless of where you were born.

Fairy Tale Scholars Discover Cinderella's Glass Slipper Was Actually a Size 11 Work Boot

New research suggests the original tale featured a 'sturdy woman of considerable foot' whose cobbler stepsisters mocked her for practical footwear choices.

Oral Tradition Practitioner Furious After Grandson Writes Down His Best Story

The 84-year-old griots' guild member called the transcription 'a betrayal of everything we stand for' and has demanded the notebook be burned ceremonially.