Archaeologist Discovers Ancient Shield Was Just a Doodle Someone Took Too Seriously

A team of researchers at the University of Edinburgh has determined that one of the earliest known examples of English heraldry — a shield design previously attributed to the household of William de Ferrers, 3rd Earl of Derby — was in fact 'a casual doodle that somehow became official.' The discovery was made when advanced imaging techniques revealed marginalia on the original 1230 manuscript that had been obscured by centuries of wear. The notes, written in abbreviated Latin, translate roughly to: 'Just trying out ideas. Do not use this one. The horse looks stupid.' 'This changes our entire understanding of early heraldic development,' said lead researcher Dr. Fiona Escutcheon. 'We've been treating this as a deliberate, meaningful design for eight hundred years. It was literally someone's scratch paper.' The shield in question features what scholars had interpreted as 'a horse forcene argent on a field azure.' Re-examination suggests the horse was drawn over an earlier, erased image of what Dr. Escutcheon believes was 'a dog, or possibly a very large rabbit.' 'The proportions are all wrong because he wasn't trying,' she said. 'Look at the legs. No herald who cared about their work would draw legs like that.' The heraldic community has reacted with dismay. 'If we start questioning the intentionality of medieval blazons, the entire system collapses,' warned the Heraldry Society's chairman. 'Next you'll tell us the fleur-de-lys was a mistake.' Dr. Escutcheon has declined to comment on the fleur-de-lys, noting only that 'several early examples show signs of creative uncertainty that merit further investigation.'