Couple's Impaled Arms Create Unintentionally Threatening Design

A newly married couple's impaled arms have been quietly redesigned after the combination of the husband's hereditary serpent and the wife's hereditary sword produced a shield that guests described as 'alarming,' 'aggressive,' and 'the opposite of what you want on a wedding invitation.' The husband's arms, granted to his family in 1847, feature a serpent nowed on a field Gules. The wife's arms, inherited from her mother's family, display a sword erect on a field Argent. When impaled — that is, placed side by side on a single shield as is traditional for married couples — the resulting composition shows a sword pointed directly at the serpent across the paly line. 'It looks like the sword is about to execute the snake,' said wedding guest Philip Torse. 'On what should be a symbol of union, the visual narrative is one of confrontation. Possibly decapitation.' The couple, who requested anonymity, said they had not previewed the combined design before it was printed on 300 wedding invitations. 'The herald said it was standard practice,' the wife explained. 'He didn't mention it would look like a threat.' The herald in question, a freelance armorial consultant, defended the design on technical grounds. 'Impalement follows strict rules. You take the husband's arms on dexter, the wife's on sinister, and combine them. I cannot be held responsible for the narrative implications of adjacent charges.' The couple has since commissioned a new design in which the charges are repositioned to avoid what the wife called 'the implication that our marriage is a combat scenario.' The revised version places the serpent coiled around the sword, which the husband acknowledged 'still looks a bit intense, but at least they seem to be cooperating.'