Man Who Wants Government Out of Everything Exposed as Frequent 911 Caller

Prominent local libertarian activist Dale Menger, who has spent the past decade advocating for the complete abolition of publicly funded emergency services, has been revealed as his county's most prolific 911 caller, according to records obtained through a Freedom of Information Act request that Menger himself filed for an unrelated purpose. The records show 47 calls placed from Menger's residence over the past twelve months, covering incidents ranging from a genuine kitchen fire to what dispatchers logged as 'caller reports neighbor's hedge is encroaching on his property in a manner he describes as authoritarian.' 'This is completely consistent with my principles,' Menger said when confronted with the data. 'I am forced to use the government's monopoly on emergency response because the free market has been prevented from offering competitive alternatives. Every call I make is an act of protest.' Among the more notable entries in the call log: a report of 'suspicious regulatory activity' near his home that turned out to be a building inspector visiting a neighboring property; a complaint about a 'coercive and involuntary' neighborhood speed bump; and a call requesting that firefighters remove a raccoon from his attic, during which Menger reportedly lectured the responding crew for twelve minutes about the superiority of privatized animal control. The fire department has declined to comment, though one anonymous firefighter noted that Menger 'always tips us, which is nice, but also insists on calling it a voluntary service fee and makes us sign a receipt acknowledging that taxation is theft.'