Ayn Rand Themed Restaurant Closes After Staff Refuses to Cooperate

Objectivist-themed fine dining establishment Atlas Shrugged Steakhouse has closed permanently after its entire staff quit simultaneously, each citing their individual rational self-interest as the reason for departure. The restaurant, which opened fourteen months ago in a converted bank building in Austin, Texas, operated on strict Objectivist principles. Servers were encouraged to 'pursue their own happiness' rather than follow a seating chart. The menu featured items like 'The Fountainhead Filet' and 'Who Is John Galt's Truffle Risotto.' Tipping was mandatory at 25 percent, described on the check as 'a voluntary exchange reflecting the objective value of exceptional service.' 'We created an environment where every employee was free to be their authentic, productive self,' said owner Howard Roark Patterson. 'Unfortunately, their authentic selves all decided to leave on the same Tuesday.' The exodus began when head chef Dominique Taggart announced she was 'going on strike' in the manner of the novel's protagonists, retreating to a cabin in Colorado to 'pursue her culinary vision free from the parasitic demands of ticket times and health codes.' Within hours, the remaining staff followed suit. 'I realized I was sacrificing my individual genius for the collective good of the dinner service,' explained former server John Galt Williams. 'That's altruism, and altruism is the enemy of human flourishing. Also, the tips were bad.' Several departing employees took silverware, which they characterized as 'compensation commensurate with their productive capacity.' Patterson has declined to press charges, acknowledging that 'they made a rational choice based on available information.' The space will reportedly become a cooperative vegan cafe, which Patterson has called 'the most predictable and depressing outcome imaginable.'