Deregulation Enthusiast Furious After Unregulated Contractor Ruins His Kitchen

Longtime deregulation advocate Preston Arbitrage is reportedly seeking legal recourse after an unlicensed contractor he hired to renovate his kitchen — specifically because the contractor was unlicensed — flooded his home, reversed the hot and cold water lines, and installed a dishwasher that drains into the living room. 'I chose him because he operates outside the oppressive licensing regime,' Arbitrage explained from a folding chair in his driveway, where he has been eating microwaved meals since the kitchen became what he reluctantly described as 'non-functional.' 'The free market is supposed to self-correct. I am currently waiting for that correction.' The contractor, who operates under the name FreedomBuild LLC and advertises on social media as 'the only contractor brave enough to reject the permit-industrial complex,' has not responded to requests for comment. His website, which features a background image of the Gadsden flag, states that 'licensing is a government scheme to create artificial scarcity in the trades.' Arbitrage's wife, Colleen, offered a less ideological assessment. 'The dishwasher drains into our carpet,' she said. 'There's a pipe going from the kitchen, through a wall, and into the floor of the living room. He said it was a design choice. My husband said the market would sort it out. The market has not sorted it out.' Arbitrage has filed a complaint with the Better Business Bureau — an organization he previously described as 'a proto-regulatory body that stifles commerce' — and is reportedly considering hiring a licensed plumber, which he insists is 'a tactical retreat, not an endorsement of occupational licensing.'