Dove Purchased for Magic Act Refuses to Stay in Coat, Pursues Career as Free-Range House Bird

A white fantail dove purchased by amateur stage magician Cedric Vanish for a production routine has categorically refused to cooperate with any aspect of the act, instead establishing a permanent residence in the magician's kitchen, where it has claimed the top of the refrigerator as its territory. The dove, named Houdini by Vanish and renamed 'Gerald' by Vanish's wife after it became clear the bird had no interest in escape artistry, was acquired from a specialty breeder for $85 and arrived with what the breeder described as 'a calm temperament ideally suited for dove production work.' 'The breeder lied,' Vanish said. 'Gerald does not have a calm temperament. Gerald has a temperament that I would describe as vindictive. On the first day, I placed him in the production coil inside my jacket. He bit me, flew to the top of the refrigerator, and has not come down since. That was six weeks ago.' Vanish has attempted multiple approaches to reintegrate Gerald into the act. He has tried coaxing the bird with seed, luring it with a mirror, and engaging a professional animal trainer who specialized in performance birds. 'The trainer took one look at Gerald and said, \"That bird has made a decision,\"' Vanish recalled. 'She said some doves are performers and some are not, and Gerald is emphatically not. She recommended I get a second dove. I got a second dove. Gerald attacked it. I now have two doves that won't go in my coat.' Vanish's wife, Katherine, has accepted Gerald's presence in the kitchen with equanimity. 'He's a good bird, as long as you don't try to put him in a coat,' she said. 'He coos softly, he watches me cook, and he has completely destroyed the idea that my husband will ever produce a bird from his lapel at the Rotary Club dinner, which I consider a net positive for everyone involved.' Vanish has pivoted to card magic.