Magic Shop Owner Admits 90 Percent of Revenue Comes From Selling Fake Thumbs to the Same Guy

Hank's House of Prestidigitation, a magic supply shop operating in downtown Portland since 1978, has disclosed that approximately 90 percent of its annual revenue is generated by a single customer who purchases thumb tips at a rate of roughly three per week. The customer, identified only as 'Regular Steve' by shop owner Hank Legerdemain, has accumulated 347 prosthetic thumb tips over the past four years, ranging in shade from 'porcelain' to 'espresso,' in sizes from 'petite' to 'extra large,' and in materials including latex, silicone, and what Legerdemain described as 'an experimental polymer blend that Steve specifically requested for outdoor performances in humid conditions.' 'Steve is my best customer,' Legerdemain said. 'He's also essentially my only customer. If Steve stops buying thumb tips, I'm closing the shop. That's not a joke. I've done the math.' Regular Steve, who declined a formal interview but spoke briefly through the shop's beaded curtain, explained his purchasing philosophy. 'Every lighting condition requires a different thumb. Fluorescent lights call for a cooler undertone. Stage lights demand a warmer shade. If the thumb doesn't match, the illusion is destroyed. People will see the thumb. They will know it's a fake thumb. And then what? You're just a person holding a fake thumb and a silk scarf. That's not magic. That's a medical situation.' Legerdemain confirmed that Regular Steve has never purchased any other magic apparatus — no cards, no coins, no linking rings, no dove pans. 'He does one trick,' Legerdemain said. 'The silk vanish. He's been doing the same trick for four years. I've asked if he wants to learn anything else. He says the thumb tip silk vanish is 'the only honest trick in magic' and that everything else is 'showing off.' Steve's next order, already placed, is for twelve thumb tips in a shade he has custom-specified as 'winter pallor — specifically the pallor of a man who has been indoors practicing thumb tip technique for four consecutive years.'