Local Pond Declared 'Too Popular' After Third Naturalist Falls In This Month

Westfield Parish Council has proposed installing safety railings around Bramble Pond after a third naturalist fell into the water this month while attempting to observe great crested newts. The most recent incident involved Derek Pondweed, 64, who lost his footing at 7 AM on Tuesday while leaning over the edge with a butterfly net and a hand lens. He was recovered by a dog walker approximately forty-five minutes later, having drifted to the shallow end among the duckweed, where he was reportedly still attempting to identify larvae. 'I was in the water anyway, so I thought I might as well sample,' Pondweed said from his position under a foil blanket. The two previous incidents involved members of the same naturalists' club. On the 3rd, Gillian Marshfoot entered the pond backward while photographing a damselfly and submerged to chest height. On the 11th, Colin Peatlayer simply 'forgot where the bank ended' during what he described as 'an absorbing moment with a water boatman.' The Westfield Naturalists' Society has issued a statement opposing the proposed railings. 'A naturalist must be proximate to nature,' the statement reads. 'Railings create an artificial separation between the observer and the ecosystem. If some degree of immersion is the price of knowledge, we accept it willingly.' Council safety officer Barbara Dryfoot has pointed out that the pond is only 90 centimeters deep and the naturalists could simply stand up. 'They keep lying there taking notes,' she said. 'That's what concerns me.' The council has compromised by installing a sign reading 'CAUTION: NATURALISTS' which the society has described as 'acceptable, if somewhat patronizing.'