Naturalist Insists Squirrel Has Been 'Following' Him for Three Weeks

Naturalist Terence Oakmast has filed a formal report with the Westfield Wildlife Trust claiming that a grey squirrel has been 'deliberately and systematically' following him during his daily walks through Highgate Wood for the past three weeks. The report, submitted on official trust stationery that Oakmast obtained at a fundraising event, includes a hand-drawn map of the squirrel's 'intercept patterns,' a timeline of encounters, and a behavioral analysis concluding that the animal is exhibiting 'targeted surveillance behavior consistent with territorial monitoring of a perceived rival.' 'It's always the same one,' Oakmast told reporters, producing a notebook labeled 'NEMESIS: A Dossier.' 'I can tell by the nick in its left ear and the way it looks at me. That is not a casual look. That is an appraising look. It is sizing me up.' Wildlife trust officer Rachel Drey reviewed the report and noted that Highgate Wood contains an estimated population of 340 grey squirrels. 'The probability of encountering a squirrel during any given walk is essentially one hundred percent,' she said. 'Mr. Oakmast is not being followed. He is simply in a wood that contains squirrels.' Oakmast rejected this analysis. 'I have walked in many woods,' he said. 'I know when a squirrel is taking a general interest in its surroundings and when a squirrel has a personal agenda. This squirrel has a personal agenda.' He has purchased a trail camera to document the squirrel's movements in his absence. Early footage shows seven different squirrels using the same path, none of which appear to have a nick in the left ear. Oakmast has described this finding as 'concerning, but not exonerating.'