Naturalist's 'Quick Walk' Enters Its Ninth Hour

Local naturalist Colin Bramblethorn told his wife at 8:15 AM that he was 'just popping out for a quick walk to check on the hedgerow,' and has not been seen since. At the time of reporting, it is 5:30 PM and Mrs. Bramblethorn has cancelled their dinner reservation, rescheduled a plumber's visit, finished one novel, and started another. 'He does this every time,' said Mrs. Bramblethorn, who has been married to Colin for 22 years and has developed what she calls 'a comprehensive understanding of his relationship with the word quick.' 'When he says twenty minutes, I mentally add six hours. When he says he'll just check one thing, I know he's found a lichen.' Tracking data from Colin's phone, which Mrs. Bramblethorn has learned to monitor, indicates he has traveled approximately 800 meters from the house. He appears to have spent three hours in a single location identified on the map as 'that bit by the stile where the old man's beard is.' Neighbor David Moss reports having seen Colin at approximately 11 AM, lying face-down in a ditch with a magnifying glass. 'I asked if he was alright and he said he'd found a fascinating example of something Latin,' Moss said. 'He seemed very happy.' At 4:47 PM, Colin sent a text message reading: 'On my way back. Just one more thing to check.' Mrs. Bramblethorn has interpreted this as meaning he will return 'sometime before dark, or possibly not.' Colin later arrived home at 7:42 PM carrying fourteen specimen bags and what he described as 'very exciting news about a slime mold.'