Puppeteer's Carpal Tunnel Claim Denied After Insurance Company Rules Puppet 'Did All the Work'
The insurer's letter states that 'the claimant's hand was merely inside a puppet, which is not the same as manual labor,' a distinction the puppeteer describes as 'medically and existentially wrong.'

Professional puppeteer Donna Fleece has been denied workers' compensation for a carpal tunnel syndrome diagnosis after her insurance provider ruled that operating a puppet does not constitute 'repetitive manual labor' because 'the puppet, not the claimant, was performing the work.'
The denial letter, obtained by this newspaper, states: 'Upon review, the claimant's injury stems from the insertion and manipulation of her hand within a fabric puppet. As the puppet was the entity visibly performing — including waving, pointing, grasping, and applauding — the insurer finds that the claimant's hand was in a resting position inside the puppet and was not engaged in manual labor as defined by Section 4.7(a) of the policy.'
Fleece, who has been performing an average of six shows per week for eleven years, operating puppets that weigh between one and four pounds while maintaining sustained overhead arm positions, responded with controlled fury.
'My hand was not resting,' she said. 'My hand was making a puppet wave, point, grasp, and applaud. Those are the same motions as waving, pointing, grasping, and applauding. The fact that my hand was inside a frog while doing them does not mean my hand was on vacation.'
Her orthopedist, Dr. Alan Flexor, provided a medical opinion noting that 'the biomechanical demands of puppet operation are comparable to, and in some cases exceed, those of typing, assembly line work, and other activities routinely covered under repetitive strain provisions.'
The insurer has maintained its position, noting in a follow-up letter that 'if the puppet requires medical treatment, it may file its own claim.'
Fleece has retained an attorney. 'I am going to sue an insurance company over whether a puppet counts as my hand,' she said. 'This is my life now.'
AI-generated satirical fiction. Not real news.
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