Sock Puppet Elected President of Homeowner's Association, Accomplishes More Than Previous Three Human Presidents

A sock puppet named Mr. Theodore, hastily constructed from a brown argyle dress sock and two mismatched buttons, has been serving as president of the Willowbrook Estates Homeowner's Association for thirty days and has, by all accounts, been the most effective leader in the organization's eleven-year history. Mr. Theodore was 'elected' after resident Dave Ankleton brought the puppet to a contentious HOA meeting as a protest against what he called 'a leadership vacuum so complete that an actual sock could do better.' When he nominated Mr. Theodore as a write-in candidate, seventeen of twenty attending homeowners voted in favor. 'It was sarcasm,' Ankleton said. 'But then people started addressing their complaints to the puppet instead of to me. And honestly? The puppet was better at listening. He doesn't interrupt. He doesn't take sides. He just sits there, with his button eyes, radiating impartiality.' In his first month, Mr. Theodore has resolved the three-year fence dispute between the Hendersons and the Chens ('I held him up and he looked at both parties and they just... worked it out'), approved a landscaping budget that had been tabled for eighteen months, and reduced meeting times from three hours to forty-five minutes. 'Previous presidents would let people yell for hours,' said resident Maria Loomis. 'Mr. Theodore doesn't respond to yelling. He just looks at you. With those buttons. Eventually you stop yelling and state your actual concern. It's remarkably effective.' Ankleton, who operates Mr. Theodore at all meetings, insists he does not 'put words in the puppet's mouth.' 'I don't speak for him,' he said. 'He communicates through presence. It's a different kind of leadership.' The HOA's bylaws are being reviewed to determine if a sock can legally serve as president. 'We're in uncharted territory,' admitted the association's attorney. 'But he's doing a good job, so nobody wants to push the issue.'