Railroad Historical Society's Annual Banquet Derailed by Argument Over Which Year Was the 'Golden Age'

The National Railroad Historical Society's annual banquet has been disrupted for the fifth consecutive year by a factional dispute over which period constitutes the 'Golden Age of American Railroading,' with advocates for the 1860s, 1920s, and 1940s unable to agree on a keynote topic, a table seating arrangement, or the historical accuracy of the commemorative centerpieces. 'The Golden Age was 1869,' declared Transcontinental faction leader Professor Augustus Spike. 'The completion of the transcontinental railroad. The driving of the golden spike. America united by rail. Everything after that is decline.' 'The Golden Age was the 1920s,' countered Steam Era faction chair Dr. Millicent Boiler. 'The largest network in history. 254,000 miles of track. The great streamliners. The 20th Century Limited. The railroads were the beating heart of America. The 1860s were construction. The 1920s were perfection.' 'The Golden Age was World War II,' argued Mobilization faction president Colonel (ret.) Frank Troop. 'The railroads moved 90 percent of military freight and 97 percent of organized troop movements. They won the war. Everything else you people are talking about is recreational.' The dispute has evolved beyond academic disagreement into a logistical nightmare. The banquet's seating chart must separate the three factions, which refuse to share tables. The commemorative program must include a disclaimer noting that 'the designation of Golden Age is not endorsed by the society and reflects individual member opinion.' Last year's banquet concluded prematurely when a slide in the keynote presentation depicted a diesel locomotive from the 1950s, prompting all three factions to unite briefly in shared outrage before resuming their internal disagreement. 'The 1950s is nobody's Golden Age,' said Professor Spike. 'That's the one thing we all agree on. Dieselization was a tragedy. Beyond that, consensus is impossible.' The society's president has proposed renaming the event 'The Annual Banquet Celebrating Whatever Era You Personally Prefer,' which was voted down as 'insufficiently definitive.'